🖤 Before “In Loving Memory” Precedes Your Name…10 Things Every Woman Must Do

🖤 Before “In Loving Memory” Precedes Your Name…

10 Things Every Woman Must Do

Let’s get right to it.

If you’ve ever grieved someone so deeply it cracked your soul wide open especially the loss of a mother — then you know this truth: life is shorter than we think, and longer than we fear. Both things can be true.

And yet... so many of us are still waiting.

Waiting for the “right time” to do the bold, brave, and borderline scandalous things that have been whispering to our spirit for years. Waiting until we feel skinny enough, rich enough, loved enough, validated enough, or healed enough.

But what if waiting isn’t an act of wisdom, t’s just another way we delay our joy?

Sis, I write about grief all the time. But today, I’m writing about life — the kind you owe yourself to live while you still can. Because there’s a moment (you won’t see it coming) when someone will be writing about you. Don’t let that day arrive without knowing what it means to truly be alive.

So in no particular order, here are:

10 Things Every Woman Must Do Before “In Loving Memory” Precedes Your Name

1. Quit that job you absolutely hate.
Yes, even if the benefits are good and your mama told you to keep it because it’s “secure.”

2. Start that side hustle that keeps you up at night (in a good way).
Bake the cupcakes. Sell the candles. Launch the podcast. Create the course. Stop calling your dreams hobbies — they’re purpose dressed in yoga pants.

3. Wear the short skirt no one thinks you have the “body type” for.
Spoiler alert: they were wrong. You look GOODT. Wear the thing. Take the picture. Post it with the caption, “The audacity is my favorite accessory.”

4. Dye your hair hot pink. Or blue. Or fire engine red.
Hair grows back. Joy multiplies. And sometimes, the transformation starts at the roots.

5. Twerk on the beach — just once.
No crowd necessary. No camera either. Just you, some sun, and your favorite “Yasss, I’m alive” playlist.

6. Say the “I love you” first.
To your friend. To your partner. To yourself in the mirror. Lead with the kind of vulnerability that scares you — that’s the kind that heals.

7. Book the solo trip.
Yes, even if it’s just a two-hour drive away. There’s something sacred about taking up space in the world with no one to impress but yourself.

8. Forgive someone who’s never apologized — and mean it.
You don’t need an apology to be free. You just need to choose peace over poison.

9. Tell someone off (politely or not) who needed to be told off.
Boundaries are self-love in stilettos. You’re not mean. You’re just done.

10. Stop waiting. For them. For permission. For “someday.”
Your life isn’t on layaway. Joy, pleasure, freedom — they’re in stock right now. You are the green light you’ve been waiting on.

If you're reading this on your healing journey, know this: grief taught me how precious life is. But it also taught me how quiet regret can be — how it sneaks in slowly, settles in your bones, and makes itself a roommate when joy should’ve had the lease.

So before anyone writes “In Loving Memory” above your name, do these things — or your own version of them — out loud, unapologetically, and preferably in something that sparkles.

Because healing isn't just about surviving loss. It's about giving yourself permission to live again.

by Kinyatta E. Gray, Founder, The Heart of Miss Bee, Inc.