You Didn't Break Down Enough, Publicly

Some women did not keep showing up because they had it all together. They kept showing up because it was the only way they knew how to survive.

Getting dressed gave the day a beginning. Answering the phone kept them connected to something outside the pain. Going to work gave their minds somewhere else to go. Functioning was not proof that grief had spared them. It was how they kept grief from swallowing the entire day.

Please do not make a grieving daughter fall apart publicly before you believe she needs care. She should not have to look broken down to deserve a call, a meal or a quiet, “How are you really doing?”

I know the ache of surviving in a way that made my pain easy to miss. If that was you too, I see you.

You did not have it all together. You were doing what you had to do to make it through.

© Kinyatta E. Gray | Founder, Honoring Miss Bee
Originally written and shared as part of the Honoring Miss Bee Mother Loss Reflections.