When Honoring Them Brings the Ache Back

Sometimes you’re in the middle of something meaningful — writing, creating, recording, or building something in their honor — and it hits you out of nowhere: Oh my God, they’re really gone.

One moment, you’re proud of what you’re doing to keep their memory alive. The next, you feel that deep wave of grief all over again, as if the loss just happened. It’s confusing, isn’t it? How the very things that comfort you can also make the pain sharper?

I’ve learned that this is one of grief’s quiet truths. The same acts that bring peace — the writing, the storytelling, the remembrance — can also stir the ache, because love and loss share the same space. You can’t summon one without brushing against the other.

If you’ve felt this before, you’re not alone. Maybe it’s a scent, a song, or something you’re creating that brings their presence so close you almost forget they’re gone — until that wave comes. And when it does, it doesn’t mean you’re back at the beginning. It just means your love is still alive and reaching for them in new ways.

Take a moment and ask yourself:
When was the last time something you did for them brought you both comfort and tears?

It’s okay if honoring them sometimes hurts. It’s proof that the bond still lives in you — not just in memory, but in motion. Every act of remembrance, every word, every creation is a bridge between then and now.

So if the ache returns while you’re honoring them, let it.
It’s love, still finding its way home.